Martha Stewart’s Guide to the End Times
Of course you know I love those little drones, so I’ve stockpiled them. Those and
lemons. I’ve learned the hard way that life without lemons is barely worth living.
Animal husbandry 101: Fill your own organic pantry. Which breed of chicken
will give you the best eggs under stress? Pg. 13.
Leave the fondant til later. You can always do a ganache topping for your cupcakes
in a pinch. So simple!
Evacuation map for New York City, Boston, the Hamptons, with scratch-and-sniff
icons: page 24.
Survival skills are just like hostess skills: a little preparation, a little spying (with
the drones,) a little determined defense-driven hedging of the grounds. Razor wire
goes beautifully with your holly thicket.
Guide to storing munitions in attractive wicker boxes: page 52.
If your water isn’t as clear as it should be, use up those charcoal filters first, but after,
try a solid iodine tablet in your home-dug well. In these times, it’s a good thing.
Culinary tips for after the mega-store raid: mixed nuts have a long shelf life. Throw
in a little rosemary and toast them over an open flame for anytime elegance. More
ideas for those family-sized tubs of popcorn: page 68.
Now’s the time to get out your hurricane lamps! They create a lovely glow in these
last days.
Previously published in Field Guide To The End Of The World (Moon City Press, 2016).
Jeannine Hall Gailey served as the second Poet Laureate of Redmond, Washington. She is the author of five books of poetry:Becoming the Villainess, She Returns to the Floating World, Unexplained Fevers, The Robot Scientist’s Daughter, and Field Guide to the End of the World, winner of the Moon City Press Book Prize. Her work has been featured on NPR’s The Writer’s Almanac, Verse Daily, and in The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror. Her poems have appeared in The American Poetry Review, The Iowa Review and Prairie Schooner. Her web site is www.webbish6.com. Twitter handle: @webbish6.
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